to look away for how long?
2006-05-10 || 10:42 p.m.

kerri: you chocolate chocolate chocolate!!!

felicia: haha! yay hi partner, we share the same name and same love! :D

RULER OF THE WORLD: HI! i made two new friends today. one with the same identity and affection, the other with the same ego-ness! who are you, fellow royalty?


IM NOT DATELESS ANYMORE. tmrw after sports meet, im going out with MINNIE BRENDY DORLI AND OLI! wheehee. and next wednesday, IM GOING OUT ON MY FIRST DATE WITH MY <3-ER! x) guess who.

perhaps life's not that saddening anymore.

_

i realised its best to keep a positive outlook on life. because when you take the other side of the story, life becomes a deep dark gloom where nothing seems to blossom. when you take a step back, you find yourself deluded, and hidden from all that mumbo jumbo but you are happy. i used to be on the darker side of the field, until the workload pulled me from that to this shiny place where being able to have a good night's sleep equals paradise.

for once, ny benefited me.

well actually its more or less me being too lazy to think about all that. its only when i sit in front of the computer and read all the multiple blog posts everywhere do i start thinking. hrm. everyone's having some form of problem or another. am i M.I.A?

its either i grew maturefinally, or my brain is getting too dense to think about all that. i prefer the former, thank you very much, though the latter is much more likely.

i used to think: what makes this person SO popular and lovable. then i start to get inhabited by the green monster. but as time pass, i eventually get answers. that proves people are never perfect. its all just a facade. it almost makes me want to pity her. but come to think of it, im not on the greener side of the field either.

which leads me to discontentment, unhappiness, unsatisfaction. and i start being spiteful, start getting greedy and wanting it all. and it all ends up to be a poof of smoke because somehow my actions turn off another and as i desperately try to save that dying friendship, the other leaves me. and im left with none!

then it leads me to realisation.

which is where i am now! i realised, that it really really doesn't matter how many friends you have. or how they make a difference in you. its how YOU make a difference in them. and a simple word of care and love can blossom into a friendship that will never break. that is invaluable and i feel so thick not knowing it before. but now i do, and i try my best to patch it all up.

but somehow i need to get over this barrier. i know you have your problems, and i want to know what are they. i want to be your close friend again to lend you my shoulder. i might look away when you are close to somebody, but i cant look away forever. which is the amount of time i might take to ever forget we ever had this bond. perhaps its best, like you said, to keep this thin bond alive with only smiles and happiness, because thats the only way it wouldn't break. perhaps we really really belong to different worlds, but thats taking me a long long time to actually acknowledge it as a fact.

oh well. off to sleep.

keep IN there, dearie! you know who you are!

brilliant & ridiculous


LAST FIVE

moved! - 2006-07-08
la la dee la - 2006-07-07
happy independence day 2006 - 2006-07-04
lost it - 2006-07-03
prefunfair! - 2006-06-30

New - Old - Profile - Diaryland - Cbox

nymd sec2s'06 Aileen Ann Bernice Chit Eileen Estelle Elizabeth Fengkai Hei yi Hilary Huixian Jacklyn Jessica Jiayi Jiaying Joanne Jolene Junning Kerri Liping Limmian Liu qian Mabel Marianne Nicole Qingyi Shirley Siying Siyu Sze khee Tingyin Trixie & Theresa Vanessa Vinette Xue Xinkai XinYu Yunning

Baocheng BernicE Geri Jiamin Machi Melissa Goh Marissa Pam Phoebe RuoXuan Sock Suwan